*SUNDAY*

Well...This was a much better day! Im eating, drinking and Ive been awake most of the day! That is an accomplishment. I put some dates in my calendar today to make sure the kids get to their orientations/open houses etc. for the beginning of school. I am looking forward to feeling better ( good enough) to make it to those things with them. The start of a new year is always a fun time in our house! Getting ready for my new class and helping the kids get ready with new shoes, closthes and supplies is something I look forward to. So...Im going to take the advice of my husband and look forward to doing those things with the kids together as I get stronger these next couple of weeks.
Wonderful meals and goodies continue to amaze the sneads as many of you know....this is more homemade food than we are used to ( in a year!) lol, but we apperciate it so much! JD is a little concerned about the weight he is going to gain during all of this, but I say...enjoy it!
THanks so much for your care and concern....and thatnks for reading,
Love, Love.
Gina

Day 5 and 6

I keep thinking of ways to tell people I am doing okay, Im just not sure how to say in a positve way..." I feel better than day 4 but still feel like HELL!" I do feel better...regaining more strength each day, I just have a hard time not being able to get up and do things for myself like im used to. This too shall pass and it will get better. This week I should start feeling a little more like myself again.

Several things that have made this day a good one:
My sissy came over and brought me some new hats and scarves, Taylor helped me wash my hair in the sink and my hot male nurse gave me a bath :) I must also mention the mashed potatoes and cheezy potatoes that saved my life today! LOL....they were THAT GOOD and Ive been eating them all day ( its the little things.) I also found that adding koolaide or paower aide to the water that I gagged on everytime I took a drink has helped alot! So...Sneeder went out in search of every available flavor to add to my water and brought them home! :)

Hair Update: I still have it....I doubt for much longer. My hair hurts and i can only guess that thats not a good thing. But im ready with my new hats and scarves...its all part of it. I just have to look at it like each new thing that happens is going to bring me that much closer to the end of my treatments!!!

Tomorrow will be a better day and Monday will be better than that....so bring it on....One full week down...8 to go!

Day 4- you suck

Today was by far my worst day. Started off the morning feeling nauseous but the nurses at KCCC were able to give me some meds to help with that for most of the day. When I got home, I slept until I started feeling nauseous again...( that's the worst!) Feeling more tired and weak each day.

TMI:
I finally gave up the fight tonight and puked my guts up....LOL...and Honestly, I feel better. I also learned one positive thing about losing my hair soon...Sneeder isn't going to have to hold my hair back for long. ( poor guy).

That's enough excitement for one night....gonna hit the hay and do this again tomorrow!
 ( Last day for 2 weeks)

Love, Love.
Gina

Second Verse....Same as the First!

Day 2 was much like yesterday...only I feel a little more tired and "out of it" I keep falling asleep out of the blue...in he middle of conversations.
They sent me home with another bag of IV fluid because I am having some bladder issues from the meds. This is normal when taking these chemo drugs, but I dont really like it that much! :)
THis is abot all I can get throught...Ive alreadyfallin aleep 3 times since I have started this update

Love, Love.
Gna

Day 1

Good news is....I made it through my first day, and I am kickin cancer as we speak! I spent 7 hours in the chemo room and Im pretty sure if there was a prize for the most visits to the bathroom today, I would WIN! Geeeez I lost count! ( thats the TMI part) I have a pump attached to the pick in my arm for four days with the other chemo drug in it. Its a continuous infusion. This added one more "beauty aspect" since I am wearing the pump on a strap like a man purse. AWESOME!!! :) I mean...Im already a sight to see! LOL

On a positive note: JD and I had some belly laughs today ...and my sis came by on her lunch break to visit. The time went by fairly quickly for me ( JD might say different) and I am keeping on top of my nausea meds...so I havent felt too bad today. Im tired....but that could also be from lack of sleep last night. as we get further into the week, the nurse says I will want to sleep alot of the time Im there...so I am trying to warn my chemo companions to bring lots to do....I might not be the life of the party ( Im just sayin...) but honestly...there wasnt a real rowdy crowd in there today. So...on second thought I hope I dont get kicked out of my chemo pod for too much partying!!! LOL...

I just dont feel like I can end my post without thanking ALL of the friends and family who have checked to make sureI was ok today, and sent words of support and FB messages, emails,flowers, made phonecalls, dinner, stopped by to being me gifts ( OMG)....You guys rock!!!

Love, Love.
Gina

Here We Go!

I say WE because I am not in this alone! I want to thank everyone who offers words of support and encouragement as well as those who are my closest friends and family. You are amazing...and I do not feel worthy of all of the attention- but I am so thankful for all of you! :)

I suppose reality hit me about 8:30 this evening...out of the blue. I haven't been able to stop crying for any length of time since then. I dont like for my girls to see me cry and get upset over this...but I dont have any control over my emotions.Some days I couldn't squeeze a tear out if I had to....tonight, I was talking about an upcoming event that I might miss with friends, and it hit me. Im probably going to miss out on alot of social events that I would have otherwise been able to attend. My friends make me happy... and although I dont expect the world to stop while I am going through chemo....I'm sad that I might not be my :"fun self" for a while. ( This is the SAPPY part I warned you about ) So...I just needed a minute to feel sorry for myself. I call these pitty parties! They are few and far between, but they are necessary!

Tomorrow is DAY 1. The next few days should be my easiest....then according to my nurse, will be harder toward the end of the week. But....Im ready to start this so WE can put this behind us!
Cancer has changed me, but it does not DEFINE me. We will ge through it and be stronger for it!!!

...Here We Go!!!

Love, Love.
Gina

The Plan

Lesson of the day: If you cant get a hold of the person you want to talk to at the Dr.'s office, just SHOW UP there and tell them EXACTLY what you need and when you need it! :) Not sure what I would do without JD to take control and get things done.

I have several appointments this week to get ready to start chemo on Monday. I feel relieved because now....we have a plan! The waiting and not knowing is the hardest thing. The nurse took us in the "chemotherapy room" today and showed us around. THAT was a surreal feeling...but honestly, it was exactly what I expected except it was cheery and bright in there. ( not as scary as I thought!)


I will go to Manorah on Friday to get a catheter put in my arm for my treatments. not a big deal except that I will have a tube about 3 to 4 inches long hanging from my upper arm for the next 12 weeks! This is going to be such a nice addition to my bald head! Ive been told several times that not everyone loses their hair during chemo therapy....however, my doctor confirmed for me today...that  I WILL lose my hair! LOL....he doesn't sugar coat it!!! I appreciate that about him though!

Nobody said Cancer is pretty!

So here are the deets:

I will have 3 rounds of chemo. ( three different chemo drugs administered by an IV)  I go 5 consecutive days ( Mon - Friday) for a few hours at a time, I think...
 So basically I have three full weeks of chemo with two weeks in between each session. My Doctor said by Sept 15th, I should be all done with my treatments and on my way back to recovering from the side effects. That gives me something to focus on! :) I will not be sick and tired forever....and my hair will grow back!! That's the good news! Then, Radiation....and scans every 4 months. So pray that everything goes as planned. I'm counting on it because I have too much going for me...too much to live for to let this get me down for too long! Speaking of things to live for.....

AND.....GOODNIGHT!
 Love, Love.
Gina

Let's Do This!

Monday I will go and get my blood work done and a porta cath (sp?) so I can start my treatments asap! I'm ready to stop talking about it....and just get it started.

Its crazy the things that go through your head while you are waiting to start something like this.
First of all...you start noticing every bald person and wonder if that is what you are going to look like. I already have a plan as to how I will handle this when it happens. ( so we will see) There will be pics or video of this....so you have something to look forward to. JD has already asked if he can give me a mo hawk and get his pic with me....hey, its the least I can do!!! :) Of course, I don't know how I will REALLY feel...but I do plan to make the best of every difficult situation as I go through this process. Whats the expression? When life hands you lemons throw them at your biggest enemy???  I'm kidding...
Obviously I'm a little obsessed with this thought of losing my hair...so that will probably be the theme through out this blog :)

I'm worried about feeling sick and tired too...not sure what to expect. I know its different for everyone. But I feel great right now. Its hard to wrap my brain around a treatment that will make you sick to get you better!

When JD got home from work tonight, I told him I really want a new family picture....like, now! Of course he agreed to it because its what I want... I realize this is a strange request, and I'm not even sure why this picture is so important to me....but it is. So we are gonna do it! :)

In the meantime...We are going to spend some time with family this weekend at Joslyn's family birthday party and get ready for a busy week of world series fun with the girls! I'm sure there is going to be a little "nesting" this weekend as well, as if starting chemo its like preparing for a baby or getting all of your "ducks in a row" before returning to school after summer break. Trip to the grocery store, mow the lawn, pay the bills, clean the house.....Let's DO THIS!!!

Love, Love.
Gina

DISCLAIMER :)

Can't sleep so I decided to give this a try.
Why a blog? Well...everyone that knows me KNOWS that I am an "oversharer" by nature. I tell people everything....even things they probably don't care about. I am the TMI queen and sometimes even share information with my friends just to get a laugh out of them or to see the shock on their face. So it's a given that I would want to share my thoughts and feelings about being diagnosed with Liposarcoma ( a rare cancer of the fatty tissue) and all about my treatments and all of the serious, crazy crap that comes with it, with anyone who will listen ( or read). But if you are going to follow me....you must read the DISCLAIMER and repeat after me.... :)

Disclaimer: I _____________ will not judge Gina for what she shares, feels or misspells. I will not mention or give a second thought to 5th grade grammar rules or punctuation. :)

I also feel like before I start....I have to warn you. I am kind of a sappy person. I am "touchy feely"....warm and fuzzy. I love my family and my friends more than anything in the world and sometimes it might get a little nauseating reading this. But I started this blog with hopes that it would help me by verbalizing whatever it is that is on my mind as well as keeping those who care about me, updated! So.....here we go!

Background: On May 10th 2011 I went in to have what was thought to be a "lipoma" or benign fatty tumor removed from my hip. These are common and very rarely anything to worry about. In fact, The only reason I decided to have it removed in the first place was purely based on my vanity because I hated the way it looked in my bikini :) So I guess you could say vanity could very well have saved my life.

Long story short ( ha ha) when I went for my follow up appointment after surgery two weeks later, I was informed that I had Myxoid Liposarcoma. It's not a day I will soon forget. Getting news that you have/had cancer is a shock to say the least. I don't think anything my surgeon told me in that office sunk in at first. In fact, I remember him saying cancer several times before I "came to" and realized what he was telling me. I still think I was in denial until he mentioned the possible treatments were ANOTHER surgery and possibly chemotherapy and radiation. Yea, that's when I lost it....

So...two surgeries and what seems like a hundred  Dr.'s appointments later....here we are :) Two months have passed and today I felt like we were back to the first day I was diagnosed. I was supposed to have my planning session to begin radiation today. But instead it looks like I am going to be having chemo before the radiation. Early into this "battle" JD and I  ( my husband, biggest fan, supporter, hot- male nurse...whatever you wanna call him) have been pretty confident about the fact that chemo most likely would not be recommended as part of my treatment mainly due to information we received from my Dr.'s and what we have researched about this cancer.

Why the change? Well, I'm not sure i understand ALL of the details, but basically my cancer cells ( tissue) was sent to Children's Mercy to be studied by a genetics expert. She was looking at the "make up" of my cancer cells to determine whether or not they have the same characteristics as "round cell" ( the fast, moving...aggressive component.) Unfortunately....today I found out that my cells DO have the same proteins (???) and characteristics of round cells. With that, and the size of my original tumor, my Dr.s are recommending Chemo and then, radiation treatments. I was surprised about this.( had a short pitty party)...but truly feel like we just need to get this show on the road and DO IT!

I'm not gonna lie...I'm scared! I have seen the movies....chemo is not going to win me any beauty pageants for sure. I love my hair, Im not particularly excited about knowing what i look like without it. Thats not my only fear though....thats just me being shallow. I know it sounds silly to worry about that when you are being treated for something that could potentially kill you....but I'm nervous that I might not be strong enough to go through this without being a big baby! It's the unknown that is scary...and Im learning slowly but surely. Even though Im not looking forward to this...I do feel extremely blessed that we found this when we did and that chemo and radiation are even an option! My prognosis is good....and for that....I am thankful!

Well, Its almost 5am...Im gonna try to put my mind to rest..
Love. Love,
Gina