Well good grief! This weekend was nothing like I had planned. Friday night was my 37th birthday. I had plans to go to breakfast with friends ( which i enjoyed) to take lunch to friends at school in my grade level ( Loved it!....but wasn't feeling well at all!) Then I was hoped to enjoy a date with my husband. We did go to dinner at one of my favorite places to eat! ( BD's Mongolian BBQ) but I just couldn't make it to the movies. :( Earlier that day I had started coughing so hard I couldnt breathe. I was losing my voice, and my energy level was plummeting! so we came home watched TVin bed ( party ON!) Thank goodness my husband is okay with whatever we do....he didn't get any sleep the night before either since I was up coughing the nite before!
By Saturday morning i was so sick i could barely speak and my Temp was rising. When you are going through chemo anything above 100.5 is concerning. Every time I took mine it was higher and higher. I'm not sure what i was waiting for...but by the time it got to 101.9, I decided it was time to call the Dr. on call. He sent me to the ER concerned that my WBC count was too low. So....we headed to Menorah about 7:00pm. They did chest x rays and blood work. My blood work
Sunday, August 28, 2011
The weekend continued....
for some reason.....my last entry posted before I was done....
my blood work came back normal....and my chest x ray was clear ( thank goodness) so they gave me a breathing treatment, and some meds to open up my bronchial tubes. ( They said I have a bronchial virus, which i probably got because my immune system is compromised). So now that i am literally on 8 prescription drugs plus an inhaler. I'm starting to feel better. Today is Sunday and i slept all day. I woke up a few times drenched in sweat to use the restroom, and eat....but otherwise, I haven't left this bed! I am supposed to go in for blood work at KCCC tomorrow, so i will call in the morning to see if i should see Dr. Myron. My Temp is still running around 100.9 which is still too high. I am on an antibiotic....so my fever should be going down. I am just hoping i don't have another infection somewhere else. ( meaning maybe its not JUST the bronchial virus that is causing issues!)
Thank you for reading....one more week off of chemo!! THEN....( drum roll please) THIS PART OF MY TREATMENT will be behind me!!!
Love. Love,
Gina
my blood work came back normal....and my chest x ray was clear ( thank goodness) so they gave me a breathing treatment, and some meds to open up my bronchial tubes. ( They said I have a bronchial virus, which i probably got because my immune system is compromised). So now that i am literally on 8 prescription drugs plus an inhaler. I'm starting to feel better. Today is Sunday and i slept all day. I woke up a few times drenched in sweat to use the restroom, and eat....but otherwise, I haven't left this bed! I am supposed to go in for blood work at KCCC tomorrow, so i will call in the morning to see if i should see Dr. Myron. My Temp is still running around 100.9 which is still too high. I am on an antibiotic....so my fever should be going down. I am just hoping i don't have another infection somewhere else. ( meaning maybe its not JUST the bronchial virus that is causing issues!)
Thank you for reading....one more week off of chemo!! THEN....( drum roll please) THIS PART OF MY TREATMENT will be behind me!!!
Love. Love,
Gina
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Happy Hump Day
It's Wednesday! I am feeling so much better ( by 2pm today....I wont be worth much!) but it feels good to at least feel good for a little while today! I got up and had breakfast with Taylor and braided her hair....I was glad I got to spend that time with her this morning. Usually I dont feel like doing anything bu laying in bed occationally checking on her to make sure she is getting ready for school.
Thank goodness my kids are independent! I dont know what a young mother who has little ones whould do. They would have to have a fairy Godmother....I have more support than I can ever imagine, and I truly dont know how people get through this with little support or small kids to take care of.
Monday I went to get my blood work done. I have to admit, although I love the nurses at KCCC, when I have to go there on my off weeks, I have anxiety about being there. It more like a sick at my stomach feeling. But, the good news is my counts are up and as long as they stay up....Im doing well and when I feel good, I can get out and about once in a while. Im looking SO forward to having breakfast with my friends before they go to work on Friday morning! I miss being with them so much!
Thanks for reading and checking in on me. Things are looking up! Only one more week of chemo to go ( first week in september) and then I begin radiation soon after that! I am hoping to get about half of my radiation treatments done before I go back to work.....( Thats the plan anyway)
Thank goodness my kids are independent! I dont know what a young mother who has little ones whould do. They would have to have a fairy Godmother....I have more support than I can ever imagine, and I truly dont know how people get through this with little support or small kids to take care of.
Monday I went to get my blood work done. I have to admit, although I love the nurses at KCCC, when I have to go there on my off weeks, I have anxiety about being there. It more like a sick at my stomach feeling. But, the good news is my counts are up and as long as they stay up....Im doing well and when I feel good, I can get out and about once in a while. Im looking SO forward to having breakfast with my friends before they go to work on Friday morning! I miss being with them so much!
Thanks for reading and checking in on me. Things are looking up! Only one more week of chemo to go ( first week in september) and then I begin radiation soon after that! I am hoping to get about half of my radiation treatments done before I go back to work.....( Thats the plan anyway)
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Warning: I need to Vent
DISCLAIMER #2
To those of you looking for an enlightening, inspirational message this evening...might not find this post to be what you are looking for.
I woke up this morning once again with false hopes that I would feel good and be ready to at least lift my head up off the pillow for more than 20 to 30 minutes at a time! I was able to eat a good lunch....and then thought I might feel like getting out for a short car ride. That Failed. :(
I have been having a pity party today because JD's 20th high school reunion is tonight and I so wanted to go with him. Not only that, but he wouldn't go without me because I'm sick. I wanted to him to be able to see and reconnect with some old classmates and just have fun tonight. It's such a nice night out....and I hate that if it wasn't for THIS we would be getting ready to go out for a fun night together! So I'm feeling a little resentful! I thought getting out and taking a drive might help pass the time and make me feel better....all that did was make me feel sick.
I'm mad at myself for being the sick one. For not being able to do something fun with my girls this weekend, for being the party pooper that keeps JD from his reunion, and maybe theres a little self pity there for me too because its Saturday night, and I like to have fun ( its been a while and I miss my FUN self)
I'm just tired mainly....tired of looking in the mirror at sad, sick eyes...tired of feeling like I can smell the chemo meds on my skin, or when i cough, tired of feeling like every movement I make will make me sick, my skin and bones hurt and I'm tired of being tired. so there.
I know that I will feel better in a few days...I just haven't felt like being positive today. I remember how last time I cried for two days after treatments, so this too shall pass.I just give up on trying to control how I feel at any given moment. I don't want to be a big baby, so I am done whining. Today just isn't a good day...tomorrow I will be stronger and more positive...I promise :)
To those of you looking for an enlightening, inspirational message this evening...might not find this post to be what you are looking for.
I woke up this morning once again with false hopes that I would feel good and be ready to at least lift my head up off the pillow for more than 20 to 30 minutes at a time! I was able to eat a good lunch....and then thought I might feel like getting out for a short car ride. That Failed. :(
I have been having a pity party today because JD's 20th high school reunion is tonight and I so wanted to go with him. Not only that, but he wouldn't go without me because I'm sick. I wanted to him to be able to see and reconnect with some old classmates and just have fun tonight. It's such a nice night out....and I hate that if it wasn't for THIS we would be getting ready to go out for a fun night together! So I'm feeling a little resentful! I thought getting out and taking a drive might help pass the time and make me feel better....all that did was make me feel sick.
I'm mad at myself for being the sick one. For not being able to do something fun with my girls this weekend, for being the party pooper that keeps JD from his reunion, and maybe theres a little self pity there for me too because its Saturday night, and I like to have fun ( its been a while and I miss my FUN self)
I'm just tired mainly....tired of looking in the mirror at sad, sick eyes...tired of feeling like I can smell the chemo meds on my skin, or when i cough, tired of feeling like every movement I make will make me sick, my skin and bones hurt and I'm tired of being tired. so there.
I know that I will feel better in a few days...I just haven't felt like being positive today. I remember how last time I cried for two days after treatments, so this too shall pass.I just give up on trying to control how I feel at any given moment. I don't want to be a big baby, so I am done whining. Today just isn't a good day...tomorrow I will be stronger and more positive...I promise :)
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Sucky Mc Suck Suck
So yesterday and today were sucky....Im feeling sick and beyong exhausted. Those who know me well know I must be exrememely tired if I am having a hard time keeping my eyes open to text or email.
BUT, the good news is tomorrow is my last day of chemo for two weeks! ( Then, only ONE MORE ROUND!) Im curious when I will start radiation. I am hoping to RIGHT AFTER my chemo treatments so I can get a few sessions in before I return to school. I have a lot to look forward to...I cant wait to get to school with my new class, my great friends, and our rescheduled family summer vacation in Decemeber. Its amazing that because of all of the support I have from fmily and friends...all I have to focus on is getting better. I am so blessed and so happy Im half way done. I just want my life back. I know it willl be here sooner than I think.....
Love, Love.
Gina
BUT, the good news is tomorrow is my last day of chemo for two weeks! ( Then, only ONE MORE ROUND!) Im curious when I will start radiation. I am hoping to RIGHT AFTER my chemo treatments so I can get a few sessions in before I return to school. I have a lot to look forward to...I cant wait to get to school with my new class, my great friends, and our rescheduled family summer vacation in Decemeber. Its amazing that because of all of the support I have from fmily and friends...all I have to focus on is getting better. I am so blessed and so happy Im half way done. I just want my life back. I know it willl be here sooner than I think.....
Love, Love.
Gina
Monday, August 15, 2011
9 more days
6 down...9 to go! Today was a "good" day....it was sad for me because I wanted to be starting the school year with my cle family so bad! I got so many nice messages from friends today letting me know they were missing me, that helped!!
It was a long day....I was at KCCC from 8:30 to 4:00....so basically, an entire work day :) I slept some, and had good company, so it wasnt all bad. I'm tired and a little loopy tonight, but Im keeping up on my nausea meds....( they are my friend) I feel pretty good but I glanced in the mirror a while ago and I can tell you, I look worse than I feel! It doesnt help that I am hooked up to one of my chemo drugs AND 24hour fluids that require a pump and a big bag that I carry around on my shoulder for 4 days. Its not pretty, and I look like I am packing to go somewhere everytime I get up off the couch. I noticed last time that my eyes start to look tired even after the first day. THe thing I hate the worst is when I start to notice my eyes "look like nobody's home!" Its a weird way to describe it, but I dont feel like I look like me...I dont really like that. The good thing is that I noticed on my off week, that "look" goes away and I start to look like myself again ( minus the hair). So, I plan to push through this week and then I have two more weeks off where I can start to feel a little bit better and focus on the girls and the beginning of school. :)
THanks for reading,
Love. Love,
Gina
It was a long day....I was at KCCC from 8:30 to 4:00....so basically, an entire work day :) I slept some, and had good company, so it wasnt all bad. I'm tired and a little loopy tonight, but Im keeping up on my nausea meds....( they are my friend) I feel pretty good but I glanced in the mirror a while ago and I can tell you, I look worse than I feel! It doesnt help that I am hooked up to one of my chemo drugs AND 24hour fluids that require a pump and a big bag that I carry around on my shoulder for 4 days. Its not pretty, and I look like I am packing to go somewhere everytime I get up off the couch. I noticed last time that my eyes start to look tired even after the first day. THe thing I hate the worst is when I start to notice my eyes "look like nobody's home!" Its a weird way to describe it, but I dont feel like I look like me...I dont really like that. The good thing is that I noticed on my off week, that "look" goes away and I start to look like myself again ( minus the hair). So, I plan to push through this week and then I have two more weeks off where I can start to feel a little bit better and focus on the girls and the beginning of school. :)
THanks for reading,
Love. Love,
Gina
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Here We Go Again!
Sunday evening....While all of my friends are having anxiety about the new school year, I am frantically getting ready for my next round of chemo tomorrow. I wish I didnt obsess so much about it. I dont think its the chemo itself that I am obsessed about, its more the anticipation of things I wont feel like doing. I am nervous about the girls and JD going back to work and school and me not being well enough to help take care of things in the evenings. I know we have alot of help and support, I just always pride myself on being that mom that makes sure the girls have completed their homework, are organized and ready to go the next day. They are old enough, and very capeable of doing it themselves...I just have to let go of that for a while. If something doesnt get done....life as we know it will go on! :) Tomorrow marks the beginning of my 2nd round which will bring us that much closer to the end of this. So, here we go again! :) Thanks for reading!
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